In my opinion there are two kinds of people
in this world; ones who know what they want in life and ones who don’t. Some
people at some point of their life switch sides to the other category, some
stay there forever. I belong to the latter; I don’t have an answer for what I
want in life though I have answers for what I don’t want in life. I use the
method of elimination to decide what I don’t want in my life. When I struggled
with my biology I knew that I didn’t want to be a doctor; when I tried
unsuccessfully to tune a song written by myself, I knew that I didn’t want to
be an composer. When my mother looked at the innocent face of a fifth grade and
said that I sucked big time in singing, I knew that I didn’t want to be a
singer. I follow this method of elimination to decide what I don’t want in my
life. This post is about my small stint before realizing that I didn’t want to
be an actor either.
I was in fifth grade and was for the first
time experiencing the phenomenon called crush. Those days I was not that
popular in school and my crush was in a different division. School anniversary was
nearing and my English teacher was preparing for an English drama and was under
the process of casting. The drama was an adaptation of Kalidasan’s Shakunthalam.
Her first choice was the first rank holder and second choice the sports
champion. I, being not there in vicinity of both spots, was sitting in my
science class and thinking about nothing. The topper was studying dance along
with his crush for last two years which made him not available for the top job:
Dushyandhan’s role. The sports champion had already been given the second best
role: Vishwamitra. This made my teacher look for less popular people. The
sports champion was given the responsibility of casting. Dushyandhan’s role
involved keeping his hand over Shakuntala’s shoulder. Touching a girl was
considered to be a taboo by all the boys during that point of time. As the
science class progressed Vishwamitra started giving cameo role and started picking
his enemies for the role of Dushyandhan. After few people, I finally got the
call.
When I entered the room I saw my crush
along with many other girls. The fact that I was being watched by my crush made
me completely oblivious of what was going on there and I completely forgot
about the taboo. English teacher asked me whether I was ready for the audition
and I in my half sense nodded. I don’t even remember the teacher asking me the
question, but she sure was happy that finally she found one guy who was ready
to put his hand on the shoulders of Shakuntala. She asked me to act the scene.
I put my hand on the shoulder, only to hear every one laughing and realizing
that I have kept my shoulders on my English teacher. I turned back and saw
disappointment and disparage on my crush’s face. My English teacher was also
furious at me. She scolded me for not listening to her and asked me to enact
the scene again. The scene was very simple: put my hands on the Shakuntala’s
shoulder and walk for a few feet. There was no dialogue involved and I was so
desperate to regain the reputation. There I just finished my first audition and
the teacher was happy that I didn’t show any reluctance in breaking the Taboo.
I got the part.
The complete drama was in English and I was
given a big sheet of paper with my dialogue to be mugged up. The next day was
the first day of practice. I mugged up all the dialogue and just after my lunch
ran to the practice room. I soon realized that my crush is going to be my
mother in law “Menaka” and that Vishwamitra wanted me to suffer while he
flirted with my crush. I really don’t remember any of the practice session
other than hanging out with the topper who also happens to be my best friend.
We both were discussing on how to succeed in flirting with our respective
crushes. School annual day was very near and my parents were excited to see their
son in limelight. My father with his experience in acting in the cliché dramas
that used to happen in churches gave me a lot of advice. The only advice that I
remembered from his long lecture is that not to worry if you forget the dialog
because someone from behind the curtain will always spell it out for you.
The day had come and I was worried about
the whole concept of Green room. My English teacher was happy with my
performance during practice session, so I was able to convince her that I will
wear the King’s gown over my pants rather than removing the pants and wearing
the gown in front of everyone else in the green room. I was the sole lucky guy
on that day who didn’t have to strip down in front of everyone (including other
unlucky girls) for the makeup man to show his talent on us. I had my first Mickey
Mouse moment on that day. (Don’t know what Mickey mouse moment is? Search
google with “Da thadiya” and Mickey Mouse as keywords). There were many Mickey
Mouses that were playing around there in pink and white background. But I don’t
recollect having the Mickey Mouse moment with my crush. Still, the evil me can
recollect a few of the other moments exactly.
The drama was about to start and we were
all taken near the stage. My crush had started dancing around Vishwamitra on
her venture to seduce him. My role was approaching and I was completely
nervous. I didn’t want to let my teacher down, more than that I didn’t want to
see the disappointment on my crush’s face. I couldn’t recollect the first
dialogue that I was supposed to say but I didn’t worry because as per my father,
there would be someone who would tell the dialogue from behind and I just needed
to repeat it. Soon the scene was all set and I was standing there waiting for
the person behind me to tell the dialogue. Nobody uttered any word. The
complete stage was in silence. Shakuntala was staring at me. Her maids were
looking at me with pity. I turned back searching in vain for the non existing
person who was supposed to spell out my dialogue. I didn’t have the strength to
look at my teacher’s direction. I directly started with the second dialogue. The
completely mugged up Shakuntala couldn’t say her second dialogue without
delivering the first dialogue. Though I don’t remember the dialogue the
audience was for sure laughing out. I could remember all other dialogue and
after the first stutter all other dialogues were rendered with perfection. But by
then the damage has been done and I had realized that I don’t want to be an actor
any more. Time passed by, the drama got over and I returned back to the green
room with a bowed head to avoid the disappointed eyes.
PS: Sure I have added a lot of masala.The
original characters please don’t get offended by the post. I am still in touch
with Shakuntala. She is now mother of a cute little girl. Vishwamitra was
blessed with a cute girl recently and I am sure that Menaka also might have
settled down somewhere with her true Vishwamitra. The topper is still my Best
friend, and still gives me a call sometime from US to advise me on my new
crushes.
PPS: I recently met Bharathan who is the
son of Dushyandhan at Kannur Bus stand. He had a beedi on his lips and lot of
communism in his head.
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| There I am taking a break from delivering dialogues in style |
